silver wall mirror
College writting on a descrptve essay. Can u please crituque my paragraph?
Carrying a box of dishes, I stepped inside first entering the living room which is carpeted in spinach green. My self I don’t much like the color of the carpet, but told myself it can be replaced. The white walls are bordered with a floral pattern against a green background. On the wall were two decorative mirrors with a frosty silver background with a green and gold pattern. On both sides of the living room are windows, the window on the right side over looks the back yard and back view of the creek.
This is a British English take on your work, so you may think it's a bit fussy, and not quite what you require, but I think it's worth considering.
Carrying a box of dishes, I stepped inside; first entering the living room which is carpeted in spinach green.
Needs a semi-colon to establish meaning i.e. "I stepped inside; first entering ..." or "I stepped inside first; entering ..."
My self I don’t much like the color of the carpet, but told myself it can be replaced.
I don't like this use of "myself" but if you must use it like this, it's one word and should be followed by a comma. You may wish to consider:
"I, personally, don’t much like the color " or "I, myself, don’t much like the color " but "I don’t much like the color " seems preferable to me.
"but told myself it can be replaced." Your mixing of past and present tenses is just about OK apart from this. You could have:
but told myself "It can be replaced." or better:
but told myself that it could be replaced.
The white walls are bordered with a floral pattern against a green background.
I would prefer: " a floral pattern on a green background."
On the wall were two decorative mirrors with a frosty silver background with a green and gold pattern.
You are in the past tense again, which I think is arguably acceptable because the mirrors are easily removable, but decide what you want, in line with what you have been taught.
On both sides of the living room are windows;
I think a semi-colon is preferable.
the window on the right side over looks
overlooks is one word.
the back yard,
I would put a comma here, but I use a lot of commas.
and back view of the creek.
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Indel B Water Wall - Specchi d'acqua
